Hu Goes to DC Jokes

The Daily Show
John Stewart invites China to take over US role as global superpower, saying “being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone wants to kill.”

Jay Leno
“The White House held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. President Obama wore a traditional Chinese-made garment: a pair of Nikes.”

“Obama and Hu had a private dinner the night before. When Obama tried to pick up the check, Hu said, ‘Your money is no good here.’ Obama laughed, and Hu said, ‘No, really, your money is no good.'”

“There was a really awkward moment when the Chinese president met President Obama’s daughters and asked them, ‘So what factories do you kids work at?'”

“Chinese President Hu Jintao had dinner at the White House with President Obama and first lady Michelle. They were going to exchange gifts from the two countries, but unfortunately everything in our country is now made in their country, so they couldn’t do any exchanging.”

“President Hu’s advance team came a week earlier to make sure that wherever he’s staying has no Chinese drywall.”

“There was one really awkward moment when Hu found out that Obama was a Nobel Peace Prize winner and, out of force of habit, tried to have him arrested.”

Conan O’Brien
“At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, Hu opened a fortune cookie that said, ‘You will lend us another trillion dollars.’”

“Hu told President Obama’s 9-year-old daughter, Sasha, that she’s a pretty little girl and asked her how many iPods she could make in an hour.”

“President Obama held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. The world leader with the funny name, who grew up in Asia, said he enjoyed meeting President Hu.”

“Senate majority leader Harry Reid refused to attend the state dinner for Chinese President because he considers Hu Jintao a dictator. In response Jintao said, ‘You’re coming. You’ll have the fish, and you’ll like it.'”

David Letterman
“President Hu Jintao from China is visiting the United States. Ahead of the big state dinner, President Obama went to Hu’s hotel and slipped a menu under the door.”

“The White House held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. There were 200 people, a six-course dinner, and champagne. It was so expensive that we had to borrow money from China for the dinner.”

“The cellist Yo-Yo Ma was there. It’s the first yoyo we’ve had in the White House since George W. Bush.”

“China’s President Hu is visiting the United States. If he likes what he sees, he may put down a deposit.”

“There was a big dinner for President Hu. General Tso brought his famous chicken.”

Jimmy Kimmel
“The President of China is in Washington. It’s a bit like when you’re into your bookie for more than you can afford, and he stops by the house to say hello.”

Craig Ferguson
“Chinese President Hu Jintao visited the White House. Fox News said it was a gathering of the world’s most powerful communist — and the president of China.”


About James McGregor
James McGregor is an American author, journalist and businessman who has lived in China for more than 25 years. Currently, he is chairman of APCO Worldwide, Greater China. A professional speaker and commentator who specializes in China’s business, politics and society, he regularly appears in the media to discuss China-related topics. McGregor is the author of the books "No Ancient Wisdom, No Followers: The Challenges of Chinese Authoritarian Capitalism" (2012) and "One Billion Customers: Lessons from the Front Lines of Doing Business in China" (2005). He also wrote the 2010 report "China’s Drive for ‘Indigenous Innovation’ – A Web of Industrial Policies." From 1987 to 1990 McGregor served as The Wall Street Journal’s bureau chief in Taiwan, and from 1990 to 1994 as the paper’s bureau chief in Mainland China. From 1994 to 2000, he was chief executive of Dow Jones & Company in China. After leaving Dow Jones, he was China managing partner for GIV Venture Partners, a $140 million venture capital fund specializing in the Chinese Internet and technology outsourcing. In 1996, McGregor was elected as chairman of the American Chamber of Commerce in China. He also served for a decade as a governor of that organization. He is a member of the Atlantic Council, Council on Foreign Relations, National Committee on US-China Relations and International Council of the Asia Society. He serves on a variety of China-related advisory boards.

3 Responses to Hu Goes to DC Jokes

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Hu Goes to DC Jokes « James McGregor --

  2. kathy says:

    James McGregor lives in Beijing…or used to.

  3. Rosalinda says:

    “As Americans, how can there be any way that we can reconcile our values and ideals with torphre?”Peruats you should ask American Sado-Masochist club members who pay top dollar to torture for their own personal sexual pleasures.If President Obama wants to solve his torture problem all he has to do is designate any one of his closest personal friends to the position as Dominatrix Czar to oversee torture sessions.I wonder if Helen Thomas is available for the position?

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